There are thirteen.
Nobody voted.

This whole thing is really about training, and hanging out together.

Try to finish the race. But let's be honest, "Finish" can mean a lot of different things.

The distances are real. Sprint (750m swim, 20km bike, and 5km run) or Olympic (1.5km swim, 40km bike, and 10km run). We didn't make them up and we can't make them shorter.

There's no entry fee. Bring gas money and beer for whoever drove. A real Olympic race costs two hundred bucks and gives you a medal. Keep the two hundred bucks.

The swim is the worst. Everyone knows this. Nobody comes out of the water happy.

The aid station is a cooler. What's in it depends on who packed it. [YEAR] was rough.

Officials: whoever's dog came. The dog isn't watching.

There's a trophy. It's [DESCRIBE]. It lives at [NAME]'s house and he brings it up.

Everyone's a winner. But somebody's last (probably John).

You can stop whenever. If you don't stop, we'll hear about the injury until [WHEN].

Training is optional and everyone claims to be doing it. Strava is watching.

Afterward, we often get tacos. And beer. And other things.

Here's how you qualify: show up.

You're in, bro.