The distances are real.
Your pace is your business.

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What we mean by "race"

A glossary, for clarity.

Race (n.)

An actual triathlon (gasp). Sprint or Olympic distance. The distances are the only part that could be called regulation.

Sprint (n.)

Swim750mBike20kmRun5km

Named by someone who has not seen us do one.

Olympic (n.)

Swim1500mBike40kmRun10km

Named after the Olympics. The resemblance ends at the numbers.

Sanctioned (adj.)

What? No.

Start line (n.)

Wherever we're standing when one of us says "okay, let's go."

Transition (n.)

In sanctioned triathlon, the timed interval between disciplines. Here, a folding chair and a conversation.

Aid station (n.)

A cooler. Contents determined by whoever remembered.

Chip time (n.)

Whatever your watch says... or hell, don't track your time. We don't care.

DNF (n.)

Did Not Finish. We never bring it up. (Cody will probably bring it up.)

Personal best (n.)

Any race you finish.

Entry fee (n.)

An Olympic-distance race runs $150 to $300 and comes with a medal, a bag, and a photographer.

Ours costs gas.

Finish line (n.)

Same place as the start line.

Our courses are pretty simple.